Ok, It's about an hour and a half befor I make my senior presintation. I wish some one would kill me right about now. I have been working on it all year, and yet I still don't feel that I am ready to do this, and in the long run I actually feel that it was also a complet wast of my time. I could have taken a class in which I actually learned something. But unfortunatly my school system sucks. I am a complet nervous wrech. I spen all of last night completing my board. And Now I am sitting here in a SKIRT of all thing wating to go on. I think I'm going to be sick. I SO hate thins.

How lonly it is just sitting here. No one ever really listens to what I have to say, and those that do listen never talk back, but just go on there way with out a word. I'm all alone. No one really cares. I'm just a lone figure sitting in the darkness of my home. Slowly and surly though, the emptieness inside of me will consume my intire existance and I shall become the emptieness that I so hate. Some one help me, save me from this fate. You might lisen, but do you ever help. Or Do you just keep going, afrade to be swallowed by the darkness too. Afrade that if you help, you might just share in my fate. No body knows, couse no one dares to take that chance. No one stops, no one cares. So I sit here alone and unloved, just wating for the dark scilence to finish it's task. If only some one would dare to brake the rules and help. If only, If only, but if only dosn't come, and the lonlyness wins again.

Life seems so dull. So empty. When evrey thing that ment anything to you comes to an end, then what do you do. You're just an alone figure, surounded by nothing but your memories. Things that you have worked so hard to acheave, but once you've acheaved them then what. You work so hard, you singe, dance, or play you're hardest for so long, but then it's all over. Evrey thing that you have done for the last four years is gone, and you can't get it back. And going on just isn't the same. Four years of dilligent hard work and training and at the end all you have to show for it is a few memories, some pictures, a dried up flower, but nothing else. Its gone, over, and nothing else remains. Just a shadow of what you are and the promis of what is yet to come. But the future will never come, You must remain in the present. And evreything you have worked for must remain in the past. You're alone for ever and eternity.

Why dose it always seem like as soon as you,re finally getting use to having your sibling back home from collige and you are finally some what getting along like you use to. you know bickering all the time. But you're finally comfterble with them being home, and then It's time to take them back and you have to start getting use to being an only child again. And Now all I can think about is what am I going to do at this time next year. Will I be there with my sister, just down the hall, or will I be some where else. All alone in a strange new enviorment with out any one to turn to. Will I stay in tuch with all my friends, or will we all go our seprit ways with out looking back. I guess we'll never know till we get there. If I ever get there. Bye.

I never understand why somethings are so terrible to some people, when others consider teh same things as blessings, and How some people can go about life getting pleasure from the pain of others. Life is so confusing and things are never the same. No one ever really knows the truth but it's always what we are asking for. Wht is truth, what is life. The world is so confusing and so changing that I don't know what is happining half teh time outside of my own little bubble, and the truth of the matter as far as I know is that I don't think I Want to know about all the pain and suffering outside of my own little home. I care about other people, really I do. But all the pain and Termoile in the world makes me want to crawl in a little hole and never come out. Why do people cause so much pain just for stupid material posetions like money. What is money. Is a pice of paper made by man with a number on it Really that speshal. What makes it worth anything. What is worth. Is it all just in our heads. Why do we program ourselves to want something that if you really think about it has no real meaning other than what every one makes it out to be. I will never understand it. Life is to complex for any one to understand. And untill humanity gets priorities straight it always will be.